


Inevitable

by Rei382



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Jean/Riza in the background, Loveless!AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-23 14:35:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13192146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rei382/pseuds/Rei382
Summary: When Ed walked into the office, he still had that tiny hope that maybe his co-workers could be adults and just… ignore the fact that he no longer had those stupid cat ears on. And good riddance to that tail, too.





	Inevitable

**Author's Note:**

> Was written as my Christmas Present through the FMA Secret Santa 2017

It was a beautiful day in November. The sun was out, warming up the chill autumn air. The leaves on the trees wore their beautiful red fall colors, with a few of them decorating the boring, paved area right in front of the main building. Even the morning breeze was being nice to him today. He liked this time of the year. Of course, he preferred summer, when it was warm and nice and the girls always wore short skirts and low cleavage tops, not to mention the ever-existing possibility of pools and bikinis… But autumn was nice too. At least it meant that end of the year bonuses were drawing closer.

Jean took a deep puff of his cigarette, letting the nicotine fill his lungs, calming all his nerves and making him just a little bit less unready to face Monday morning. He let the smoke soak in his mouth for a short moment before letting it out slowly, watching it as it dissolved into the air. He was so focused on this rare moment of serenity before the storm that he almost missed a familiar face in the crowds.

A familiar face with a certain change to it.

Jean let out a little yelp of surprise, a giant smirk smeared over his face, and pushed himself off the wall. “Look who’s here, only fifteen minutes late!”

“Since when are you the boss? And what about you, huh? You’re not exactly in the office yet either.”

Jean raised his eyebrows, his smirk ebbing away ever so slightly. “A rough Monday morning, huh? I thought you’d be in a better mood,” he paused, and reached with his hand to pat Edward’s head. His head that only had his signature blond hair as decoration. It felt strangely empty. “Looks like _someone_ had a _very_ nice weekend.”

Elric pushed his hand off, looking even more annoyed than he did before. Jean’s smirk broadened at the sight of obvious redness in his younger co-worker’s face. “My weekend is _none of your business_ , Havoc.”

“Yeah, alright, but you know you can’t hide it. You gonna step in the office today, and I don’t even need to say anything but everyone’s gonna see that finally, our youngest, most innocent – “

“Innocent _my ass_ – “

“ – soldier in the _entire_ military – “

“See, _now_ you’re just extravagating, I wasn’t the only one in the headquarters to still have – “

“ – has lost his ears.”

The red on his face got a few shades darker and his eyes went wide – as if he hadn’t realized until this very moment when Jean pointed it out: that the moment he steps in, everyone’s going to know, just like Jean did. For a short moment he was just staring at him, and then he pulled his hoodie over his head and walked around him, clearly trying to hide. Jean let out a snort of laughter and turned to look after him. “You remember you don’t have the tail either, right?” he called, and turned back, still laughing. He took one more whiff of his cigarette before throwing it on the ground, shaking his head. He stepped on it to turn it off before walking back into the building.

Today was going to be a great day. He _knew_ it.

He almost skipped his way to the office, and when he reached it, he felt like he had missed something. It was strangely quiet, with a very heavy feeling. He immediately took a look around, searching for the man of the hour, and found him sulking at his desk, doing his best to hide from everyone.

Jean almost felt bad for him, but then, he really couldn’t figure out what was so embarrassing about it. If anything, it was a moment to be celebrated; especially since it happened so late. He was probably, what, twenty-four by now? Twenty-five? Jean sat at his desk and picked up a pen, playing with it in his hand. Ah, the magical time of early twenties.

He slid with his chair sideways, leaning in to Breda. “Yo,” he whispered, getting his friend’s attention. “Noticed the new style our friend here is wearing today?”

Breda smiled. “Hard to miss. A big change, that is. Thought he’d be happier when it finally happened for him, you know? We just tried to congratulate him and – you know. Ended up with my hearing impaired. I mean… figured it’d happen way, _way_ sooner… you know, he’d been friends with that Winry since – hell, you know, I think since they were _kids_ ~”

Jean chuckled. He felt almost bad, knowing he was the one who sent the former Fullmetal Alchemist, notorious for his temper, up here already pissed off. “You figure so, too, huh?”

Breda shrugged. “I mean, who else could it be?”

“Right. Who else? Yo, get Brosh over here, let’s see what he thinks.”

“Hold on,” Breda turned away from him. “Hey, Brosh!” Jean was a second away from hitting him and asking him whether he was crazy. “Get over here for a second, I need to ask you something about that case we’ve been working on the other day.”

“Huh? I thought we were done with that – “

“Yeah there’s this one loose end, do you have a minute?”

Brosh grunted, but got up and walked towards them. “Yes?”

“Sit down, sit down.”

“Hey, Breda, I have a lot of paperwork to – “

“ _Sit down_ ,” Jean hissed, and Brosh sat down on the little chair at the edge of the table. Jean and Breda leaned in towards him. Suspicion replaced the annoyance on the younger man’s face. “Who were you thinking the happy girl is?” Jean whispered to him, gesturing with his head in Elric’s direction.

Brosh looked at the both of them, and then let out a sigh. “You called me over for _that_? Isn’t that clear? He finally did it with his mechanic girl. What’s her name. Rockbell. I mean… was pretty clear they liked each other even when they were, what? Fifteen? And besides, she was here this weekend. Saw them at the station on Friday evening just before I got on the train to my fiancé. Can’t believe you’re wasting my time on this… Sheesh.”

Jean exchanged looks with Breda. “Well, I suppose that settles that. Hey, Brosh, when did you lose yours?”

The younger man arched his eyebrows. “My ears? I think it was like, my eighteenth birthday. Went drinking for the first time since, you know, I became an adult and all… found that girl at the bar, really cute. Have never seen her since, she disappeared before I woke up the next morning. A real shame, I really liked her.” He shrugged. “What about you, Breda?”

 “For me it happened a little late… I was twenty one, and just found my first serious girlfriend. We were going out for a few months… and then this one night she invited me in. To have some tea, she said,” Breda smiled, and Jean let out a chuckle.

“The old come-up-for-tea trick! Yeah I played that one back in the day, too.”

“Is that so? So why don’t you tell us about _your_ first time?”

Jean smirked and leaned back in his chair. “Well, you see, I was seventeen, and there was this beautiful, very busty girl at school that really digged me, she’s been chasing me for weeks and – “

“Why are you lying to them? You still had your ears when you were at the military academy. I remember.”

Jean looked up and glared at the interrupter. “What? No, it was – “

“Oh, don’t you try to pretend, Jean,” Riza, stunning as always, leaned on his desk, smiled at him before she turned back to the others. “We attended the same year. You must’ve been… what, twenty… three? You kept trying to hide your ears – “

“ _Shut up, honey_ – “

“It was cute, really. No one bought that.”

Breda and Brosh both laughed. “Wow, we had no idea you had your ears for so long! A late bloomer, huh?” Brosh said.

Breda pat him on his back. “You know, I think – I think I might’ve seen you trying to hide your ears – it was you! We were all making fun of you but we had no idea – hell, Havoc!”

Jean felt his cheeks burning. He played with the ring on his finger, turning it about. “Fine, yeah, okay – so I _might have_ still had my ears… until I was twenty four.”

Riza chuckled and reached to entangle Jean’s hand in hers. “It’s okay, I think it’s cute that you had your ears for that long. You were waiting for the right person.”

“Yeah, I was. Guess I should’ve waited just a little bit longer to find my real love.” He reached over to move his fingers over the back of her hand. “When did you lose yours then? I don’t even recall ever seeing you with them.”

“Oh. That happened when I was fourteen.”

Jean almost choked. “F – fourteen?!” A short glance around him told him the other two men were just as shocked. How come – how come he didn’t know that? Not that he cared, really, he loved her just the way she was and it didn’t matter to him but – but he was just shocked.

“Yes. But after that I figured it wasn’t as good as everyone said it was and waited until my next serious boyfriend. He proved that the books were right and my boyfriend at fourteen just did not know what he was doing.”

“I – uh – _wow_.”

“Yeah, who knew you were such a party, Colonel!”

“And – and me? Where am I on that scale between that boyfriend at fourteen and that guy at – “

“Nineteen, I was nineteen then. And you’re fine. Don’t worry. Would not have married you had you not lived up to my standards. Anyway, leave the kid alone and get back to work, will you?” She squeezed his hand and walked away.

“Four. Teen. Man, you’ve got yourself a player there.”

“Kind of embarrassing, but hey, looks like you got lucky with that one. Anyway, I’m going to listen to her and get back to work.”

Jean smiled. “Good idea.” He felt lucky to have Riza. For four years straight now they were together, one of which they were husband and wife, and Jean had never felt. It was the only good thing that came out of his injury. She was there with him in the hospital, there through the recovery – and there after he was well and walking about freely. He didn’t even imagine she was there because she felt anything other than pity for him – until he asked her up front. Her reply was that he was an idiot that he didn’t know anything. Then asked him out for dinner.

She was not easy, but he loved her with all his heart.

He wondered if that was the kind of thing the little boss managed to find.

The sound of a door opening made both of them straighten in their chairs and look up. General Mustang just stepped out of his inner office. He looked a little tired in Jean’s opinion, but then, everybody tended to look tired on Mondays. He saw him glancing in Edward’s direction, and moving on. Jean got up from his chair and walked to him.

“Hey, boss,” he said as he caught up with him.

“Anything on your mind, First Lieutenant Havoc?”

“Yes, actually – what did you think about our new, uh, situation at the office?”

Mustang arranged his uniform coat and kept walking. Jean heard some movement from behind him. A quick glance showed him that Edward had sank even deeper in his chair.

“I have no idea what you are referring to, First Lieutenant.”

“Aw, don’t tell me you didn’t notice! Our boy finally became a _man_! Turns out his girlfriend Winry was visiting this week and – “

“And _what_ , First Lieutenant?”

Jean frowned at the cold tone of his boss’ voice. He figured he’d be just as happy about the new discovery as the rest of them – hell, he was sure that if he wasn’t the first one to spot Edward today, Mustang would be the first to call him out and ask for details. “And – well, you know! His _ears_ , Boss! Don’t you want to know?”

“Why would it be my business to know? What make you think it is any of _your_ business? Leave him alone, he’ll tell you if he wants to. Now, if you don’t have anything _work related_ you need from me, please stop wasting my time and kindly return to your seat and _get back to work_.” Mustang reached towards the door handle, pushed it open, and left the office.

Jean really did not expect that reaction from him.

He turned back to Breda, who shrugged at him. Jean shrugged back and did as he was told. Maybe the Boss just didn’t have his morning coffee yet.

The door opened again, making Jean look up. Maybe Mustang finally came around and –

And instead of Mustang’s firm, manly attire a girl in a mini skirt walked in, looking a little flushed – as if she ran her way here. Jean immediately recognized her as Winry, little boss’ girlfriend.

He looked at her as she crossed the room, tucking a strand of stray hair behind her ear as she nervously greeted the other people in the room. He and Breda exchanged knowing smiles as she went directly towards Edward. She called his name and he looked up at her. She gave him a little bag, which she said he forgot his lunch at home, which, apparently, made him almost as red as his conversation with Jean this morning did. They talked for a little while, and then she walked away.

Jean’s eyes followed her as she bid her goodbyes when he suddenly noticed something. Just at the point where her shirt met her skirt, her kitten tail was waving right behind her. Jean looked upwards, and there they were. Her kitten ears, right on top of her hair, just like they’ve always been.

Just like they were missing on Edward’s head this morning.

Something was not right. It _couldn’t_ –

“Hey, Havoc?” Jean looked at Breda just as the door closed behind the girl. “I don’t think it was her.”

Jean nodded, his shock probably written all over his face. But if not her, then…

Who?

*

Assholes. Idiot, stupid assholes. What, did they think that just because they were whispering he could not hear them?

Not that he didn’t get any interesting pieces of information there, but he had that tiny hope that _maybe_ his co-workers could be adults and just… ignore the fact that he no longer had those stupid cat ears on. And good riddance to that tail, too.

Not that he cared all that much about what that – meant – but it was just really annoying.

He should’ve known they’d think it was Winry. He knew they’ve been suspecting it ever since he was twelve. Total bullshit. Sure, she wasn’t bad looking at all but she was – a sister. He couldn’t be attracted to her even if he swung that way. And besides, it was clear to him from the very beginning that Alphonse wanted her, and fuck if he was going to stand in his brother’s way. He ruined everything else in his life, he had zero plans of ruining that for him too.

When she came for his automail adjustments (yes, he was soon going to hit twenty-four but was still growing!) he had no idea she was going to make such a mess out of his life. Sure, it was fun seeing her, and when she asked if Mustang would like to have dinner with them, since she didn’t see him in forever and she always felt like she owed him for all the help he gave him and Al back when they were teenagers, he felt a little awkward, but figured, how bad could it be.

_“Come on, let’s just invite him over. I’ll cook.”_

_“It’s not that, Win, I just – let’s go out instead, okay? It’s Central, not Resenbool. You want to party, there’re a couple of really nice places around…”_

_“That’s a great idea! I’ll invite him. What’s his phone number?”_

_“Win – “_

_“Phone!”_

He should’ve known that she knew. Winry wasn’t stupid, and besides, he already knew that _Al_ knew. He wondered just how many times the two have talked about this, trying to come up with a plan – because he knew both of them, and knew that each of them, on their own, would’ve tried to meddle with his life ‘for his own good’. Separately, Ed stood a chance. But with both of them together, as a team? He wondered just how long it took them to cook that one up. His only hope was that Mustang would say he was busy – hell, it was Friday night, he surely had some – some date, or something. But no. Winry called and it turned out that out of all the Friday evenings, he was free on that specific one.

He heard a door opening, and saw Roy stepping out of his office. He glanced at him and felt his cheeks burning up. He looked away.

 _…he looked away. It was really hard not to notice how handsome he was. The way his hair framed his face in the most perfect way; the way his lips twitched when he smile, the way they moved when he talked. It was so much easier to ignore this at work – when he was all wrapped up in that ugly ass uniform that made_ no one _look attractive in_ any way _. But out here? In that plaid dress shirt that looked maybe half a size too small, stretched over his biceps and just a little over his chest. Not that Ed didn’t know that despite the fact he spent most of his day stuck behind a desk, the Flame Alchemist kept his body in good shape._

_Ed cleared his throat and tore his gaze away, taking a sip from his beer instead. He swallowed. “I don’t know. It’s okay I suppose. I don’t hate it. Even got used to the uniform.”_

_Roy chuckled. “Then I suppose I should tell you that you should start wearing it like everyone else, without that hoodie of yours.”_

_“Aw, but I like this hoodie!”_

_“Your hoodie looks horrible. Tell him Roy!” Winry returned to her seat on Ed’s other side._

_“I didn’t say it was_ horrible _, just that it is unprofessional.”_

_“Shut up, both of you!”_

_Winry and Roy both laughed, and ordered another round of drinks._

He heard Havoc’s question, and wanted to bury himself under the floor. What if he told the truth? It’s not like he would care. But he didn’t. He was actually – _protecting_ – Ed’s privacy.  Ed felt relieved and grateful when the door closed and Mustang was no longer in the room. For a few blessed moments the office was quiet. No talks about him losing his ears, no speculation. Just the sound of papers rattling about as the people worked. He looked at his own paperwork, and was just about to grab the first document off of the pile when the door opened again. He looked up, expecting to see Roy coming back, but instead he could only see Winry coming into the office. Why – why did she _have_ to – now they were all going to know –

_“You really gotta lose those,” she said, a healthy flush to her cheeks and a glass half full of some disgusting looking pink liquid in her hand. She reached with her other one and stroke his ear. It tickled, and he moved away, flattening his ears down on his head. “I know you want to – “_

“You forgot the lunch I made you!”

Ed blinked. He murmured an apology and took the paper bag she handed to him, and placed it on his desk, right next to a pile of papers he’d been ignoring for the past week or so. “Thanks, Win. I hope they didn’t give you trouble getting in here.”

“No, not at all, don’t worry. Just, you know eat it, and not the crap they serve at the cafeteria. I didn’t suffer cooking in your tiny kitchen to have the food thrown away, okay?”

Ed rolled his eyes. “No one asked you to ‘cook in my tiny kitchen’.”

Winry gave him a look. “No, but I didn’t see you complaining about it either.”

“Yeah, yeah, sure. Whatever. I’ll eat it. I hate the shit in the canteen anyway. Besides, I don’t think I feel like spending time in there today as it is. Don’t need more of – never mind. Thanks.”

“No problem. Now get off your ass and give me a hug, I got to catch the train.”

Ed shook his head and smiled as he got up and hugged her. They held each other for a moment and then she let go.

“Take care,” she said, and waved as she walked away. Some of the guys stared after her. Ed turned his eyes away. He knew that no one would think it was him and Winry now. His only hope was that no one would know the truth. Why couldn’t she just –

 _Ed sneaked a glance at Roy and felt his cheeks burning. He waved his tail behind him slowly, nervously. Did she_ have _to bring up that subject now? “Yeah, maybe I do. But you ain’t got no right to say anything to me. I mean, what about you? Me, I didn’t have a relationship like, ever, but_ you _’ve been in one for like three years.” From the corner of his eye, he could see the curious look on Roy’s face as he looked at him. Why did he have to say that? It was one thing that everyone knew he’d never… but not having any relationship at all?_

_What if Roy thought he was a weirdo?_

_Winry blushed and played with the diamond ring on her finger, the sparkle gem catching Ed’s attention. “Al and I, we decided to wait until the wedding.”_

_He let out a snort of laughter. “Your wedding? That your idea, or his?”_

_“Edward, don’t be mean,” chided Roy._

_“Like I said,” Winry cut in before Ed could make any kind of retort. “_ We _decided. Mutual decision. Three years, what a couple more months? Besides, it’s not like we don’t_ do _anything. Just, uh, you know… not_ the _thing. You can do a hell lot with – “_

 _“Please,_ please _Winry, that’s my little brother you’re talking about, spare me the details!”_

_She laughed. “You asked.”_

The weight of their stares was almost too much to bear. He got up and walked towards the door, murmuring that he had to use the restroom, just in case someone would wonder where he had disappeared to.

Even the corridors felt intimidating. He felt as if everyone were staring at him. He felt as if every conversation was about him. He knew he was just being paranoid; he wasn’t interesting enough or important enough to have people talk about him. And still, he couldn’t shake that feeling. He pulled his hoodie over his head again and made his way to the nearest restroom, barely even watching where he was going. After all, by now, he had more or less knew this place by heart. He reached the door handle and pulled it -

…and let out a yelp of surprise when he almost fell as someone else was just pushing the door to step out. A hand, a strong, firm hand held onto his arm, preventing him from falling backwards and helping him stabilized himself. He murmured a thanks before trying to walk past the man, but he wouldn’t let go.

“You should be more careful.”

_“Thank you for letting me use your bathroom - whoa! Be careful there!”_

_The hold on Ed’s arm surprised him, the other man’s touch making his skin burn. It was almost strong enough to hurt, but he didn’t care. He chuckled nervously, trying to hide the feelings the touch induced in him. “I’m good, I’m good,” he reassured Roy and straightened himself. He turned his head, and found himself staring right into Roy’s eyes. He suddenly realized just how close they were; he could feel the other man’s breath fluttering over his lips. He smelled like fresh wood, alcohol, and a hint of that tasty cheese-flavored snack the bartender gave them. He wanted to -_

 “Fullmetal? Are you there?”

Ed snapped back to the present. Roy’s hold on him was starting to ache. How long was he lost in his own thoughts? He moved his arm and the older man let go of him. Was it just him or did Roy just hesitate slightly before letting go? “That’s _not_ my name anymore!” he said, and then realized that maybe he was being too harsh. He took a breath, trying to calm himself. “Yeah. Sorry. Should’ve looked where I was going, I know, blah blah blah. I’ll be back in the office in a minute, okay? I just gotta use the toilet, I have to – ”

“You don’t owe me explanations for your bodily needs. Do whatever you need to do.”

“Great, thanks for your approval,” Ed said, feeling his face just keep getting darker. Why did he have to say that? As if things weren’t weird enough. He moved, making room for Roy to walk past him; he did, and Ed took a step into the room, rushing to hide himself in one of the stalls, completely ignoring the lieutenant who was just washing his hands and was eyeing the little encounter he had with Mustang curiously.

_…he smiled nervously, and moved a little. “Sorry for that. Fucking stupid house, there’s this little nail in the floor – right there – “ he pointed, and saw Roy moving his head too from the corner of his eye. “Probably left over from some… I don’t know, closet or something, that used to be there. Already gotten used to that, but you know, still sometimes when I’m not paying attention…”_

_“What were you paying attention to, then?”_

_Ed looked up and saw that he was mistaken, and Roy was looking directly at him. He was very well aware that he was still holding his arm. His body felt hot, and his head was still light from all the beer. Was he imagining, or?..._

_“I – “ he started, but Roy’s hand was tugging at him, inviting him closer._

_How could he say no?_

Ed knew he was there for a little too long already, but he didn’t feel ready to face the outside world yet. He felt so ashamed. He was making such a big deal out of – out of something so small and unimportant. But it didn’t feel small to him. Winry wasn’t much help either. He was actually relieved, this morning, knowing she’d be leaving. He wasn’t sure how much she was going to share with Al – but he certainly hoped she will, at least, keep her assumptions to herself. Letting Alphonse know _something_ happened was one thing; but to tell him _who_ , that was a whole different thing. At least it was going to be a while until he will have to face _that_ consequence.

He had to be braver than this. He got up and flushed. He left the restroom, facing a very annoyed-looking soldier who said something to him about not being considerate, which Ed ignored completely. He made his way back to the office, and sat at his desk, pulling a random document and pretending to work on it.

The day crawled by sluggishly. Ed found it nearly impossible to concentrate on anything, even after the stares eased and everyone were busy with their work. When lunchtime arrived, it was a relief to have an excuse to stop pretending he was reading and to have everyone else leave the office, and, while it wasn’t as good as it was yesterday, the lunch Winry packed for him was still way better than anything they ever served at the canteen. Being alone in the office helped him relax and finally shake the feeling that everyone were still staring at him. It was nearly time to get back to work when he heard a voice calling his name. “Colonel Elric, will you come to my office for a moment?”

Ed looked up from his empty lunchbox and stared in the direction of the voice. Never before had Mustang’s office looked so intimidating; not even back when he was a teenager, and had made more mess than what he was supposed to clean up. He swallowed, but got up and walked towards the inner office, dragging himself as slowly as he could. Eventually he found himself at the mouth of Hell. He crossed the door step, finding the devil himself sitting there, seemingly calm, collected, right behind his desk. His head was bowed down, his hair falling over his eyes like a veil as he read one document or another. He waited for a few seconds, but eventually he lifted his eyes.

“Come inside. And… close the door, please.”

_“Close the door.”_

_“I – uh – are you sure?” Ed breathed through Roy’s lips. He wanted Roy to tell him that he was sure; that he wasn’t going to leave. He wanted to stay in this moment. “The driver…”_

_Roy’s tongue creeped out of his mouth to wet his lips. Ed could feel it as it lightly brushed against his own lips. He closed his eyes, his tail waving slowly behind him. “I could get another one later. I already paid him for all the way to my house, he won’t mind. Do you want me to stay?”_

_Ed reached behind him and closed the door, smiling as he rose on the tip of his toes and crossed the few millimeters still separating them. The kiss was hesitant at first, but it quickly escalated, making Ed’s breath hitch. He started leading Roy into the bedroom, slowly, hesitantly, but it seemed that the other man wanted this just as much as he did._

Ed turned and obediently closed the door behind him. “Yes. You, uh, wanted to see me?”

“Yes. Sit, please.”

Ed hesitated for a moment, but eventually, he slowly walked away from the door and towards the sofa in front of Roy’s desk. He’d sat on it so many times before, and yet today seemed different. The room was uncomfortably quiet for what felt like forever. Did Roy feel as awkward as Ed felt? He glanced up, almost shyly. The older man looked just as collected as ever.

Ed should’ve known. For him, he was just one out of many. One more name to add to the list. What difference did one more night, one more conquer, make for him?

Nothing at all.

He crossed his arms over his chest, sinking a little in his seat as he brought his right knee up, crossing his flesh leg over his metallic one.

 “I tried calling over the weekend.”

Ed knew. He heard the phone, every several hours. He counted; there were seven calls in total. Winry kept nagging him to pick up – she even threatened to do it herself – but he never did. Not because he was afraid. There was just nothing to be said over the phone. “Sorry, I was busy. Couldn’t pick up.”

“I wanted to apologize for Friday night.”

Ed let out a short snort. Of course. Of course that would be why he called him here. He was right to not pick up the phone – there was no point. Obviously, Ed was not up to his usual standards and the whole deal was just a fuck up. A big fuck up that got even more fucked up because they were working together, and so, Mustang had no choice but to apologize when, had Ed been a complete stranger, Roy could’ve just ignored it and moved on.

There was a heavy lump in Ed’s throat, and he cleared his throat shortly to try and make it go away. It didn’t, but he decided to risk talking anyway. “Don’t sweat it. There is nothing you need to apologize for.”

Ed looked up, gathering all his strength to keep his features neutral. Roy was looking straight at him, his expression a mixture Ed found it hard to decipher: something between sympathy and curiosity, but there was also something else there, written in the fine lines. Hope? It was probably just his imagination.

“Maybe. But I would still like to put it out there. If we – if I had done anything you felt, or feel, uncomfortable about, I am deeply sorry. I didn’t mean it.” He didn’t flinch under Ed’s stare; didn’t so much as moved a muscle.

_“Is this okay?” the question fluttered over Ed’s skin as Roy’s hands traveled over his body, tugging at the button of his pants. It was hard to breathe, hard to talk, hard to think – all he knew was that this was what he had dreamt about since forever, and it felt just as good as he imagined it would, and better, much better. He was almost not scared at all. He moved his hips towards Roy and captured his lips in another kiss. Roy got the message and Ed felt the relief of not being confided inside the tight jeans anymore._

“I – no, what?” The lump in Ed’s throat grew thicker. “I meant it. You have nothing to apologize for. We’re cool. Actually, I think I should probably apologize for, uh, my lame-ass hospitality, and all that.” He felt as if Roy was examining him; and maybe he was. But he kept his eyes straight ahead, doing his best to not show the turmoil that was going on inside him on his face.

_“You should probably go.” Ed stared at the wall. The euphoria that washed his entire body had eased; in its stead he felt exhaustion. He wasn’t sure how to interpret all the strange things he was feeling; he was sated, but he wanted more. He felt awkward, and self-aware, and ashamed, and he wanted to be alone just as much as he wanted Roy to hold him forever._

_He wondered if Roy already regretted coming here, or if it will come later. He was too scared to turn and look at his face, too scared of what he might find there. Disgust? Disdain?_

_“Are you sure?” Ed tried to ignore the way the air brushed against his shoulder. He wasn’t sure if Roy was really asking, or if it was just out of courtesy to not seem too eager to be given the green light to leave. It was most likely the second._

_“Yeah. I mean… you know, Winry’s in the other room and… probably shouldn’t see you here in the morning, and… and you know, my bed isn’t big enough for two people.”_

_He knew these were just excuses, and he knew that Roy will know it too. He was hoping that he’d call him out on it; say that they managed just fine. That Winry will know anyway. That at least Ed couldn’t hide it, even though he could always just lie and pretend it wasn’t Roy. Not that Winry will buy it, but he could always try._

_But Roy didn’t argue. There was just silence for a few seconds, and then the hand that was trailing lines on his bare back disappeared, and he felt the weight of the bed shift as Roy sat up._

_He could hear him moving about and the rustling of clothes being picked up and worn, and then the door closed, and Ed was alone._

He looked down, trying to fight the heat in his cheeks. He was acting like an asshole, and he knew it. Roy didn’t really do anything wrong; he wanted it. Roy even asked him, more than once, and Ed said that it was okay. He didn’t know what made him feel so uncomfortable… after. It wasn’t that it didn’t feel good; it felt amazing. Roy treated him gently, after all, it wasn’t as if Ed could hide he’d never done this before, and Roy turned out to be very caring and careful. It was almost too good to be true.

Therefore, it had to be. It had to be a dream that will fall into pieces as soon as he woke up, and therefore, he had to cut it on his own terms.

So why did he feel like he didn’t do the right thing? Why did he feel ashamed – not for being with Roy, but for asking him to leave? Why did Roy talk as if – as if he thought he hurt him somehow?

“It was your house. It was your right to ask me to leave.”

Why did he think he heard sadness in Roy’s voice? He looked up. “You – didn’t want to? Leave, I mean.”

“Not unless you didn’t want me to stay.”

Ed frowned. “So… you… wanted to stay?”

Roy’s voice sounded soft. “I would’ve preferred to stay with you.”

Ed remained quiet for a moment. He wasn’t sure if he should believe what Roy was saying now; but he had no reason to lie. Ed had given him an easy escape – he told that they were okay, that he didn’t mind. He could’ve just stopped the conversation there and let him go.

But he kept him here. He looked genuinely hurt that Ed just tried to dismiss the time they spent together. Was that the reason he had been so quiet when Ed asked him to leave? Was he hurt that Ed didn’t want him there?

But he wanted him to stay. He wanted him to tell him that he wasn’t leaving him. He was mad at himself for not understanding this sooner. Roy didn’t argue – because he thought the reason Ed asked him to go was that Ed regretted what they did. This was so messed up. _He_ was so messed up. “Shit,” he muttered, and looked up to meet Roy’s gaze. The other man was looking at him, waiting for him to say something. He looked as if he was expecting him to burst – to yell at him, or punch him for what he did and what he said. No; this couldn’t be right. “I – uh – do you – do you wanna go out? I mean, after work. Like, for dinner, or something. I don’t know.”

Roy chuckled shortly, and Ed felt his cheeks burning even hotter than before. Did he manage to mistake the situation again? Was Roy – was that bastard _laughing_ at him? He was about to call him out on it, to swear at him, to call him all kinds of names he rightfully deserved, to punch him and to get out of this room and never return – but before he could do any of that, the other man spoke again. “Are you asking me on a date, Fullmetal?”

Somehow, the amusement in Roy’s voice didn’t sound as if it was mocking; he sounded… hopeful. Ed was so shaken he didn’t even tell Roy not to use his old title.

He crossed his arms over his chest. “No. Maybe. What if I am?”

“Well, if you are, then I might ask you when.”

Ed’s eyes went wide. Did he – was that – a yes? “I don’t know. Friday evening? After work?”

“How about I take you out for dinner eight o’clock tonight?”

“T – tonight?!”

“If tonight is not good, I could do tomorrow evening as well”

“No – I mean, tonight’s fine.”

“Great. I will pick you up at eight then.”

Ed looked up. Roy was smiling at him, chin resting on his palms as he leaned forward a little bit. Ed mirrored his smile. “Eight o’clock tonight. Alright.” He repeated that in his head. _A date with Roy tonight_. It sounded even more surreal when he phrased it like that – but it made him happy. Happier than he felt in a long, long while. His smile broadened. “You’re buying.”

“I pay you more than enough to be able to pay for yourself.“

 “So? You’re getting paid more than me. You’re still buying. And bring a lot of cash, I eat a lot.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“Yeah, we will.” Ed let out a short chuckle and then he turned back towards the door. He could hear noises from the other side, signaling that everyone were already back from lunch. It was time for him to get back to work. Or at least, pretend to get back to work; he doubted he could concentrate on anything work related right now. But it didn’t matter at all.


End file.
